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My Kate Gets Married!

 My main squeeze, Lowercase Kate, is getting hitched!!!!

I’m in love with her love, clearly, and if Nacho ever leaves his first wife, I hope it’s for me.

Since I’m so full of myself, I’m absolutely and unapologetically making my speech a blog.

Classy.

Congratulations, Kate.  I’m so honored to be a part of your celebration! I love you, and whatever.

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When Kate asked me if I would write a speech, (well, “asked” is such a strong word…) I kind of panicked. 

I’m not alone in the blank stare that comes to us when trying to write something important for someone we love, so that’s comforting.  

I put pen to paper about a thousand times trying to think of the perfect thing to say to my best friend for her wedding. 

It’s just that I wasn’t sure what I could say to her amazing group of family and friends to let them know how much Kate and Nacho are loved.

But after several stiff drinks, it sort of dawned on me that I don’t need to tell this crowd anything - you’re here for the same reasons I am.

So, I’ve decided to tell Kate instead. 

See, when Kate would travel, I felt *so* unmoored by the loss of her, that I would write her an email almost daily, just to tell her all of the things I would have shared, had she been home for me to shoot her a quick text. 

How very “The Notebook” of me, I know.

Obviously it’s worth an entire email every time I go to the store for a salad.

Oh, sorry, that autocorrected...it was supposed to say pizza.

And since Kate has never once read any of these emails...not that it ever stopped me from writing….and because I’m really into the sound of my own voice and all, I’ve decided this is the best time to write her just once more.

Here goes.

Dear Kate,

Why in THE HELL would you ever ask me to write a speech?  Well anyway, here we are. 

Soooo….what’s new?  How’s the wedding going?  Am I sweaty?  Probably.  Did you tell the bartenders to cut me off after a baker’s dozen of gin and tonics like I told you to? 

No? 

Well, how is this speech going to end up?   Let’s find out together…

Anyway.

Without question and without hesitation I believe two things:

I believe that my friendship with you has been the most important of my life;

And I believe the love that you and Nacho share may be the truest thing I’ve ever known.

I believe in both of those like I believe I’ll take my next breath.

And being so full of hot air, that’s saying something.

My friendship with you has been, in a word, transformative, and I am so thankful.

Thank you for being by backbone, and for being my armor.

Thank you for not only being there to watch me take leaps of faith, but for pushing me me right off the edge into the arms of vulnerability.

Thank you for dusting me off the times I’ve belly flopped the landing, and for encouraging me to leap again.

Thank you for sharing way too many bacon, egg, and cheeses with me in the middle of the night, and for being my partner in crime when order “the usual” - bacon/ranch fries - at Ryan’s Wake bar against our combined better judgements.

Thank you for being right there next to me as I’ve celebrated every triumph.

Thank you for staying there when things go toes up - there are few other hands I’d rather have holding mine when the world is spinning away from me too fast.

Thank you for being my anchor….

Well...no.

I wouldn’t quite say you’re my anchor, but that’s only because you’re more likely to jump into the stormy water with me than to hold me down as I get battered by the waves. 

Long story short, there hasn’t been one minute since I’ve met you that I haven’t been thankful that you’re in my life.

Well, maybe the minute when you asked me to write a speech.

I think though, for all of the reasons I am thankful for you and all of the reasons for which I love you, the first and most prominent is because you are my teacher.

You’ve taught me that you need patience during the sticky times.

You’ve taught me that I am deserving of the love I have received, and that others are worthy of my love. 

You’ve taught me the art of saying no.

You’ve shown me the joy in saying yes. 

But it has been watching your love build with Nacho that has taught me the most. 

I thought love was all sacrifice and strife, but having the privilege of being your permanent third wheel has given me the gift of seeing that love is really about learning that your heart is safe.

I’ve learned from the two of you that love isn’t always about staring longingly into each other's eyes, but finding a way to look into the same direction together.

I’ve learned that it takes fortitude to love someone, and courage to be loved.

I’ve learned that love doesn’t have to be exhilarating at every turn, but it is a quiet acknowledgement every day that your souls belong to each other.

What you and Nacho have built together has taught me that love is not so much a feeling or infatuation, but a choice.  And one you have to make over and over again every day.

We haven’t had the time recently to sit on my couch like we usually do, just to talk about things, but when we can, I think you would teach me that your wedding isn’t about the perfect seating chart, or the perfect song, or perfect cake/flowers/or dinner, nor is it about the perfect dress - other than mine, clearly - because what you’ve taught me is that weddings...this wedding - YOUR wedding - shouldn’t be perfect, it should reflect love.  And love can never be someone else’s definition of perfection.

You and Nacho have taught me that love grows and changes and will fit as wide of a space as an ocean, or be right within arms reach.  And that your love will be exactly what you and Nacho continue to make it.

I’m thankful for one more thing today.  I am thankful that Nacho really sees you.  I am insistent on that for my best friend, because to really see you is to love you. 

So, Kate, I’m sorry that I didn’t come through on a speech for your wedding.. But I hope you like this letter instead.

Let’s all pick up a glass and I’d like to end with a blessing and a prayer.

As the Irish say, “Let's drink to love, which is nothing, unless it is divided by two.”

And let’s say a prayer...for Nacho...that he again discovers the joys of eating meat.

Shame (or, How Jonathan Pryce Ruins Everything)

Shame (or, How Jonathan Pryce Ruins Everything)

Black or White

Black or White