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Things I'm Afraid Of

Things I'm Afraid Of

Today, like many of the days in my life, I used the sentence, "Oh God...that's one of my top 100 worst fears."

To which the person I said that to inquired, "Uh, you have 100 fears?"

Um, yeah.  Duh.  And why stop there?  I said that it was in my top 100 fears.

They dared me to list a few.

Challenge accepted:

  1. Heart attacks
  2. Having a heart attack in public
  3. Having a heart attack home alone
  4. Choking
  5. Choking in public
  6. Choking alone and the maintenance guy finds my body like a month later and they have to do a full Law and Order: SVU style investigation on me until they find out that I croaked eating chines food alone...again.
  7. Losing my taste buds
  8. Going deaf
  9. Going tone deaf
  10. Going tone deaf and not knowing
  11. Everything that’s ever happened in the show “I Survived.”
  12. Not having enough chili sauce on my fish fry.
  13. Crowded theaters
  14. Crowded anything
  15. Quiet isolation
  16. Grassy knolls
  17. Tall buildings
  18. Planes
  19. Planes near tall buildings
  20. Giving speeches at weddings
  21. Not being asked to give a speech at a wedding
  22. Dying alone
  23. Dying lonely
  24. Schizophrenia
  25. Failure
  26. The giant spiders in Harry Potter
  27. The giant spiders in Lord of the Rings
  28. The giant spiders in the Adirondacks
  29. Needing a blankie to fall asleep
  30. Scorpions
  31. Quicksand
  32. Finding out that I have all of the things WebMd told me I'd get
  33. Murder on the Orient Express
  34. Hungry pregnant women
  35. Hungry postpartum women
  36. “Man flu”
  37. Heroin overdoses
  38. Antidepressants
  39. My mind
  40. Sleep paralysis
  41. Jellyfish
  42. People finding out what I’m like when I’m not being Erica the Great
  43. The flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz
  44. Monkeys eating my face off
  45. People on bath salts eating my face off
  46. Talking to mechanics
  47. Figuring out my student loans
  48. Grownups
  49. Singing in public
  50. Driving behind tractor trailers haulding logs
  51. Being overwhelmed to the point of tears
  52. Caffiene
  53. Co-hosting a podcast
  54. Writing
  55. People’s parents
  56. Kids
  57. Having kids
  58. Wondering whether I want to have kids
  59. Leaving my potential kids in a hot car
  60. Lesbians
  61. Sex
  62. Putting my feet on the ground at night because the monster under my bed will get me.
  63. The ocean
  64. Roller coasters
  65. Freezing to death
  66. Dying in a fire
  67. Dying in a fire in Latin
  68. Dying on a toilet like Elvis
  69. Dying in a tub like Whitney
  70. Someone breaking into my home and trying to literally ax murder me.
  71. Nulear weapons
  72. Isis
  73. Niceness
  74. April Fools Day
  75. Being riddled with cancer and not knowing it
  76. Drowning
  77. Falling in a frozen lake
  78. SIDs
  79. STDs
  80. ALS
  81. MS
  82. WNBA
  83. What’s that disease where tiny fish swim up your penis?  That one.
  84. Getting old and having bloodshot eyes
  85. Leishmaniasis
  86. Getting lost
  87. Quiet
  88. The dark
  89. Not ever knowing how to forgive
  90. Never being forgiven
  91. Most basements in upstate New York
  92. Not having enough
  93. Having enough, and not being satisfied
  94. Being made fun of behind my back
  95. Settling
  96. Being settled for
  97. Never being able to hula hoop
  98. Never understanding what the hell the point of hopscotch is
  99. Suicidal thoughts
  100. That thing where you can’t stop hiccuping for the rest of your life

We all have fears, and most of them look like this list.  Never doubt a creative brain.

I'm no expert, I suppose, but I believe that it's not our laundry list of fears that is our problem.  Our fears aren't the things that define us, are they?  It's how we're able to keep walking along the road of our life with our fears and still find room to thrive anyway that builds the backbones that keep us upright.  

And that's all there is to it.  Don't try to erase your fears, it's not really possible anyway.  Know they serve a purpose, let them tag along, then keep walking.

And never challenge me to list out my fears...there isn't enough time in the day for you to hear them all.

 

Coming Out of the Spice Cabinet - A WHOLE YEAR LATER!

Coming Out of the Spice Cabinet - A WHOLE YEAR LATER!

Lunchroom lament - redux

Lunchroom lament - redux