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How to Meditate

How to Meditate

And now, for something completely different.  

This is the actual real-time stream of conscious of what my brain looked like whilst doing 20 minutes of mindfulness meditation yesterday morning.  This is what it looks like, give or take, every morning when I do my mindfulness meditation.  

There's nothing wrong with it, all of these thought wanderings are the point.  You go away, then you come back to the "breath"...or whatever you pick to focus on.  

When you remember, snap yourself out of it.  My word to do that is "Here."  Then I remember to breathe and focus on something real.

Enjoy my brain.

7:40am

BREATHE

  • Do my lungs hurt?
  • Why?
  • Did I pull a muscle?
  • God I'm out of shape.
  • How did that happen?
  • Connecticut.
  • Am I healthy enough to work out?
  • What does irony actually mean?
  • Remember that woman last night that read a short story and called it Ed-Jew-Tainment
  • I might not be cut out to write
  • Do I need validation in everything?  
  • Does that make me needy?
  • Co-dependent?
  • Whiny and annoying?

HERE

BREATHE

RELAX EYES

RELAX MOUTH

  • I wonder what I look like.
  • Am I ugly?
  • Oh God.  Leg pain.
  • DVT
  • Is that why my lungs hurt?
  • What does a blood clot feel like?
  • What about shin pain?

HERE

BREATHE

RELAX MOUTH

RELAX SHOULDER

  • Heartburn
  • Maybe I don't wait to get hungry before I eat.
  • I'm already thinking about lunch.
  • I have prosciutto.
  • Grilled prosciutto and cheese?
  • Tomato sandwich?
  • I mean, who doesn't like rye bread?

HERE

BREATHE

RELAX EYES

RELAX BELLY

  • Saturday was nice.
  • Wasn't it?
  • Wait.  Was I annoying?
  • Shit.
  • I just wanted to be engaged.
  • Anxiety make me word vomit.
  • Am I the worst?
  • No.  She would have said something.
  • My pesto sandwich wasn't the worst.
  • I wish I had Buddhapesto.
  • I spend too much at the farmers market.
  • And Amazon.
  • And DeFazio's.

HERE

BREATHE

HEREEEEEEE

RELAX MOUTH

RELAX LEGS

  • A deep breath feels nice.
  • I wonder if I freak people out meditating in my car.
  • What is GERD?
  • Pain in thigh.  
  • Oh god it's moving.
  • I wonder if Zoie would eat apple pancakes.
  • Don't forget to ask Kellie how work is going.

HERE

BREATHE

RELAX MOUTH

  • Am I breathing weird?
  • ITCH!!!!!!!!!!
  • Oh my God I've never felt such a strong itch in my life.  
  • Is something biting me?
  • Remember that time you picked wild blackberries on the hill next to Grammy Sherman's?
  • I would do some really gross things for a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich right now.

HERE

BREATHE

FEEL COLD AIR ON BACK OF THROAT

FEEL WARM AIR ON EDGE OF NOSE

  • Does my car smell like gas?
  • Is the exhaust broken?
  • Am I going to pass out?
  • I didn't understand Inception
  • Why did I stop drinking hot lemon water?
  • Maybe I need glasses.
  • I need a new car.
  • I should be better with money.

MAY I BE HAPPY

MAY I BE HEALTHY

MAY I BE SAFE

MAY I LIVE WITH EASE

  • I'm doing the best I can with what I have.
  • Breathe in
  • I'm ok.
  • Breathe out
  • My nose is cold
  • Breathe in
  • Breathe out
  • Breathe in
  • Breathe ou.....

FIN

 

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